cold turkey...

turkey, like revenge, is best served cold.

jing

A Nightmare...

so the story goes, it was just the other night

i was awalking on, into a hall full of light

as i rounded a corner, i had the utmost fright

it's true, you were there, just the other night

i looked upon perfection, i looked up and i was thine

she bequeathed me a smile, my heart was then no longer mine 

she asked - oh voice of an angel! - 'hey, aren't you Lionel?'

to which i replied not at all, jaw hanging limply, final

she laughed - oh that joyful laughter! - and took me by the hand

we talked and laughed, oh for the desire of my heart!

she is all i saw, there was no other beauty upon the land

that voice, that laugh, that beautiful heart!

ere long we found ourselves a couch by hearth
she laid in my arms, no thoughts i begrudged her
a soft hand upon my cheek, my lips upon her hair
a scent all perfumers would murder for

i awoke then, sudden and aching

i awoke then, wondering

i awoke, your smile was all that was left

i awoke, and no, you were not there.

A Nightmare

K.I.S.S.

i was fiddling around trying to freshen up the look of the blog. due to oh-my-gwd-rip-my-eyeballs-out slow internet connection, i spent almost to days trolling the net looking for a nice template.

two days.

and then after two days, i discovered that none of them looked good or was too complicated etcetc..

thus K.I.S.S

Keep It Simple Stupid

and voila, my white page.actually, if i can, i would still change it, but to another simple template as well. we'll see

~

i remember now what i wanted to talk about.

i remember in How I Met Your Mother that once there was a question which goes like this

"how long after a serious relationship can a person date again?"

not verbatim of course, but something along those lines.

the answers were

"half the time of the relationship"

i can't remember the rest, but one i do remember was this

"the time it takes for you to get from her bed to her door"

ha.

which brings me to my point.

i think the time from one relationship to another, or at least, to wanting another one, is, wait for it...

ha. when you finally can forgive (if there is a need, of course)
or more importantly, and this is the one, when all the hurt and all the pain and all the black goo in your heart has gone, leaving only traces of scars. and ashes. and wine.
really, until then, a person has no business going to find someone else.
and i think, finally, i have reached that stage. really.

~
on another note, i talked to Wes today. really, i look up to him very very much. inasmuch as he says he doesn't have everything figured out, he is one of the most understanding and mature person i know. and he is caring, so yes,i raelly look up to him. we had a small talk, and there's so many things he said that struck me, and i don't know where to start, but mainly on God and  his trials and walk and it was quite inspiring. i think, hell, i HAVE to rethink my priorities. thanks alot man, i really appreciate it.

~
two posts in as many days, i'm on a roll!
i have something in mind, it's called a po-....wait for it.....

jing

no song to describe what i am feeling now.....

and God is good...

just when i decided that yes, i will look for a job, any job it will not matter as long as i get part time work, He steps in and i get OFFERED a job with an event managing company. the timing was absolutely perfect..i am learning loads, the works of the industry, and the learning curve is crazy steep...the con is that i don't get to write often, and my mind wanders through the day, wondering about my characters, how they are faring (weird, in know, but they feel like family...) and about the storyline... so my thoughts are scattered all over the place- from KLCC to Terranuir - and while this is very bad, it actually ties in with my character very well......

~

i realised i have not reviewed (i use this term loosely ^^) an album for awhile, so here's one.

A Fine Frenzy: Bomb In The Bird Cage

you may have heard some of their songs already, like Almost Lover, Near To You & (personal fav) Ashes and Wine. and i really like the title of the last song. i heard of them in OTH the er, first or second season, so they've been around for awhile.
this album is the shizzle. really. its definitely full of lovey dovey songs, and as usual, a mixture of mid-tempo songs to a few slow numbers. what is great about them is the originality of the lyrics. surprising thing is - or rather for me, the USP - , they use nature as metaphors (they also use alot of metaphors) often, and it sounds cool. the sounds in their music to me is a mixture of jazz and highland sounds (i can't remember what it's called, but its kind of irish and scottish...) really, it's a great album, and one of the few i can guarantee have good songs from start to finish :)

~
i have been meaning to say something here on my blog for awhile.
but for the life of me i can't remember what it is..ever get that feeling? it is like a giant cork in my brain, stopping my outflow of thoughts...damn...
it's not a rant. i don't rant anymore, it's juvenile, no offense meant for those who do, but refer to former point.
it's not a world changing thought. God knows the world needs it from a fresh perspective though.
i really can't remember....
i will write again, hopefully soon

till then, know that i miss all of you overseas!

and as an afterthought, i finally understand fully now the saying that
'the heart has reasons that reason cannot fathom'

jing
All American Rejects - Another Heart Calls

breathe...

i am not going to be doing engineering.

i know i am amazed too. what i do know about myself is that i am a very factual person. 1+1 = 2 and all that. i prayed about it, and God specifically told me no, do something else. i have looked at Mass Comm again, and i will look into Anthropology. an advice was, go to it, and FINISH IT. sounds cool huh. i am not too sure what it does, as well.. whoah, rambling. stop. breathe.

i have been writing alot these few days. i enjoy it. really i do. but do you ever wonder? for example, if i never get around to finishing Elementalist, i will always think i MAY be a good writer, instead of finishing it and no one would give it a second look and KNOW i am a bad one. breathe...

on that, i looked back into my old blog. and i have to say, i do my best poem, writings, when i am feeling down. and i am not one for false pride. they are really good, and i am thinking of writing all of it down into a book and binding it, the poems, not the writings..i know it may not always be funny, and there aren't many pics on it, but i loved my words. when i look back and i read, i think, who's this dude? did i ever write such a thing? and it gives me a boost. it does. rambling again...breathe...

i don't know what i am saying here...just a random thought that came to me..a little uneasy and a whole lot of disquiet....

-jing-

gone in sixty seconds...

a lone hand clapping makes not a sound

it is like an empty thought thrown in the wind

it is like a blunt knife that wounds its wielder

it is like a flame thrown at a mirror

a lone hand clapping looks mighty queer

it is like an artist who is great of cheer

 it is definitely love unseen, unrequited

it is a rusty blade thrust in an open eye

a lone hand clapping is a desperate act

it is a back seen and then thoughts remembered

it is a smile captured and framed in my mind

she is a beauty that will never i define

Gone in 60 Seconds

-jing-

hate and lies...

he raised a finger to his head

eyes far, ideas percolating

what shall my deed be before bed

what wonders shall i go about corrupting

i don't know, thought he a-mulling

shall i infuse a nation all with lies

maybe there would be a mighty culling

aha! with it i will sprinkle some hate

and then ohoho there will be dreadfull falling!

nonono! thought he with grin!

i have it! said he aloud, flinging wide his sheets

my masterpice, he said, my creme de la creme!

with it, The Almighty then may i beat!

into the Body, he infused fear

a need for vengeance he filtered through

strike back, fight back my pretty pauper

set them all back a fire!

glad his plan done, his servants working

he laid back his head and kissed the wife

tomorrow would be a beautiful, bloody thing

he rejoiced, the snake, he smiled and slept

the devil, the snake, he smiled and slept.

-jing-

childhood memories...

i spent the whole of yesterday at a mechanic in Pandan Indah, Cheras. t'was my second time there, and i really didn't notice anything unusual the first time. but on this occasion, it was different.

i stepped into the shop, and was assailed with a particular smell from childhood.

the smell/odour/perfume/mywrist was the smell of new tyres.

yes, tyres, the round typr you put on rims and drive around (geddit?). before you think me weird (mostlikelydoalready) let me explain.

the earliest memories i have are all in the same area, my gramma's house off Titiwangsa. my uncles have a business in rethreading tyres, thus, the aforementioned smells. the house died (ask me another time), but i am pretty sure up until it passed on, the smell was still there.

which brings me to my point. i have a list of stuff, see, and there's loads of random ones, like what songs remind me of whom and what occasion, list of places to go before i die, roads to drive in, etcetc.

this is a list of 10 things that remind me of my childhood.

1. the smell of tyres

2. pacifiers (ok, every kids uses it but i was pretty fond of mine)

3. the sound of cicadas in the heat of afternoon (it reminds me of hot, hot days)

 4. grammas chasing the children asking them to eat their food.

5. raw egg on boiled rice
6. the odour of chickens and their s***

7. single storied wooden houses.

8. a whole kampung of half naked doods sitting outside someones house smoking and talking (i swear, only dudes do this O.O)

9. tamiya cars

10. cheery trees.

-jing-

hardest thing about writing...

if you didn't already know, i am currently writing a book, and am in my 3rd er, incarnation? draft? well, 3rd one, the other 2 i threw away, and praise God, this i think is going somewhere. of course, it is nowhere near perfection, but, it is a learning curve. i am learning to see things in a broader picture, to look at situations in a more 3D kind of view.

so anyways, the hardest part is :

coming up with names.

names of people, names of places, names of every sort of thing under the sun.

period.

so please please, if you have a good name for people, or places, or you know, names, just write it down on my chatbox. or i.m me. or comment. i promise you i will try to find a use for it.

thx a bunch

-jing-

lovely weekend...

this is a happy post. don't know why everytime i do this i must qualify it..ocd..

last saturday, Youth HC went to help out in Jinjang for the annual Kids Christmas Party.

we had a small skit, in which i directed, and it happens to be my first. it was a fun fun learning experience.

see the smiles on the kids, wow. it's all worth it. when we gave out gifts to everyone, all 1.2k of them, half came by and wished me merry christmas in a funny malay accent. really warming.

in the afternoon, my family went to a close friend's wedding. the dude is a malay, and this is probably, the 3rd? malay wedding i've went to. and i love their way so much more. it was a buffet, anytime you can come and leave. O.O how cool is that. they are our ex-neighbours from selayang, you can say i've known them all my life. and then, wham, i say more old ex-neighbours. and this guys are THE oldest friends i have, the people i grew up playing catching with, the people i've had first-fights with. it was awesome.

just when i thought sunday can't be better, it did. i sang for service, and i LOVE it when i sing for guy-worship leaders. the ladies sing way too low, though i love it as well (gulp, disclaimer). the key was perfect, and i think it went great.

after church, 4 of us, mum dad sis myself, went up to cameron highlands to visit a relative. awesome people, so down to earth. had awesome awesome steamboat there (what's with steamboat and cold places?) then went for teh tarik. i swear, teh there is so delicious, it sent shivers up and down spines. the tea place was on a slope facing the plantation. when i used the toilet, the stunning vista can be seen through the window. i used the cubicle with a window, and was so preoccupied with the view i didn't notice i had finished lol.

came down at 7-8, it was pitch dark then and i drove. that was fun. the whole way i was thinking what would happen if i had a better car doing this, maybe a CTR or a Megane R26. it was too fun, and not something i get to enjoy often, sharpish corners and long sweeping ones......wow.. and all IN THE DARK...wow...

then, disaster. after Tapah toll, we went for about, 5k? and the rear left tyre decided enough was enough, and promptly blew out. when i say blew, i really mean shredded. it was crazy, on a highway going 140kph, suddenly, kkrrrssshepaaawwwwzzzzkkrrzhakklk....after a few calls, the 'helpful' PLUS guys came, took me to Slim River to get a spare tyre and after two hours, we were back on the road. reached home at 12.

damn tiring, but was great family time, with 2/3 of us lol.

on the other hand, this song has been stuck in my head the whole weekend.

The Invisible Man by 98 Degrees.

kinda gay, but i think i can relate.

longest post ever in awhile. i guess if one has time, this is how one spends it.

later

-jing-