Lessons LDR Taught Me

I've recently embarked on an ambitious journey with an awesome girl. She's currently 7000 miles away in the (currently) cold country of England while yours truly is in the land where everything is possible, Malaysia. Sometimes I wonder what we were thinking, embarking on this journey a month before she left. We've spent more time apart than we have together but there are some lessons that I have learned in these six months that seem so much more important now in a LDR.

Lesson 1: Communication
When a person is next to you, there is no pressure to fill up the spaces with conversation. But, when all we have is Skype (bless you, Skype), verbal words become more important. We can't hang out on Skype, and the silences in between are filled with stares and wandering thoughts. All we have are words.
Another point here is that it when arguments arise, it is much harder to solve, simply because I am not there. If I was, we'd have a decent face to face conversation and we can kiss and make-up. So, spoken words become all the more important. Also, spoken words without the accompaniment of gestures and body language can be misunderstood.

Lesson 2: Making Time
The both of us live in different time zones; we are 8 hours apart, so we try to talk whenever possible. It mostly involves some giving and taking, like loosing some sleep just so we can talk.

Lesson 3: Giving and Taking
While on that subject, giving and taking - and sometimes compromising and differing - becomes more important too. Not that it's not if she was right here, but coupled with the limited communication, disagreements become shorter when we can both agree to disagree on some issues.

Lesson 4: Living Apart
I think that too many couples today are too into one another. It is in my opinion that to have a successful relationship, the two must (note must, not should) have a fulfilling and full life exclusive of one another. So, this time apart has been a learning process for the both of us.

Lesson 5: Patience
Because she makes me want to throw my laptop out the window.
Kidding.. But, yes, patience. All my life, I've never had to wait so long for something, or someone. I am used to instant gratification. So, patience.