soundtrack of my summer...

I can't believe I have not done this already,

but here goes:

a compilation called Summer '10; the soundtrack of my summer.

01. A Day Late by Anberlin

02. Sand In Your Shoes by This Providence

03. All This Time by One Republic

04. 23 by Jimmy Eat World

05. Paperweight by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk

06. Think Of Me by Rosi Golan

07. Airplanes by B.O.B featuring Hayley Williams

08. Terrified by Katherine Mcphee feat. Zachary Levi

09. You Could Be The One by Bethany Dillon

10. Summer's Song by Dear Juliet

11. Retrace by Anberlin

12. The Only Exception by Paramore

13. Anywhere But Here by Safetysuit

14. Nothing Like You & I by The Perishers

15. Ready and Waiting To Fall by Mae

16. Your Voice

redemption...

you ever wonder why you're still here?
why? even after everything you've been through?
even after your will has been broken and that last step you took was meant for oblivion?

maybe...maybe you're still here for a reason.

maybe you're still here for redemption.

maybe in your redemption, another can find his.

anything you want it to be...

This is you.

This is me.

This is everything that could be.

This could be everything you ever wanted.

This could be anything, everything you want it to be.

Believe it.

trying to string broken words through fractured feelings...

and i will sing along...

Glen Hasard : Falling Slowly

Falling slowly, eyes that know me

and I can't go back

Moods that take me and erase me

and I'm painted black

You have suffered enough

and warred with yourself

It's time you won

Take this sinking boat, and point it home

We've still got time

Raise your hopeful voice, you had a choice

You've made it now

Falling slowly, sing your melody

I'll sing along...

i don't know...

I don't know where I will be in a year.

I don't know what I will doing then.

I don't know if I will enjoy it.

I don't know if I will want it by then.

I don't know if I will still be here.

I don't know if everything will be the same.

I don't know if I want it to be.

I don't know who I'll be.

I don't know..and it's killing me...

a pocket full of bones...

I have this closet, and I have not opened it for a long time.

Few know of its existence, even fewer have seen it.

I don't remember what it holds, but maybe it is because I choose not to.

Or, maybe, I dare not to.

The key that opens the locked drawers have long been lost..or maybe it was misplaced on purpose.

The drawers hold nothing much, but, oh, how much import they do hold.

A shred of this and a piece of that. A bottle of this and a sliver of that.

A shard of a dream and a rag full of blood.

I will weigh it down and bury it at sea, locking it anew and throw away the key.

But I know that in doing so, I will never find redemption.

twisted message...

You know, as a writer, I get irritated (heck, I think anyone will be irritated) when someone misquotes me, or when someone twists what I write out of perspective into their very own.

Of course, that said, some of what I write (or anyone) is definitely open to the reader's concluding prowess...

But again, having said that, when it is a clear, black and white thing, it's definitely irritating when that happens.

And then it made me think (I do that infrequently, but yes, I do).

How many of us have read words in the Bible, and construed it to fit our own end?

For example, in the Bible it says to leave your parents and go with your wife. And I personally know people who leave them entirely out of their lives because 'it is in the Bible'.

Or that 'tattooing is a sin!!' because in the Bible it is said don't mark your skin, but again, it is in their context. 

Or when you read a verse, and go on to explain that 'to me, this verse means this and that'.

Why don't we read a book and try to understand it in the author's original context without messing up the message in our minds?

But then..if the message changes a life (for the better), even if misconstrued, will the message not have served its purpose?

note: this is one of those posts where the reader can draw his/her own conclusion. and it will be interesting to know what it is, so drop me a message or something...

rain beautiful, beautiful rain...

For as long as I remember, I have loved the rain...

I love the smell of rain, right before it pours and the smell of ozone when there is lightning...

I love the way a drizzle sprinkles diamonds in one's hair

I love the piercing, needle points of pain that stings when it rains heavily.

I love running through it and I imagine myself a ghost, unseen behind a liquid curtain...

There is something holy about the rain.

All creatures hunker down and wait it out.

The world slows down and, in my opinion, goes back to its original pace.

All the dirt, all that is wrong and all the uncleanness are washed away.

And if I stand in it, I'd like to think the same will happen to me.

And if you read this, one day, I'd like to take you with me, and we will stand in the rain, hand in hand...

quiet desperation...

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

Henry David Thoreau, Walden.

Selah.

Henry David Thoreau wrote the quote above in the first chapter of his book, Walden.

In the book, he left everything behind to live in the woods next to Walden Pond, to go back to the essentials of life: food, water, shelter, clothes on a man's back.
More importantly, he learned to think, to be left alone to one's thoughts.

Have you ever wondered how much noise there is in the world we live in now?

Not noise as in sound-waves, but the noise in our head.

How many of you really take the time to sit/stand/kneel/whatever and be alone with our thoughts?

How many will reflect on the day gone by, wonder at how it could be improved for tomorrow and resolve that tomorrow will not be the same as today?

An unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates

The title of this blog, Selah, is a Hebrew word with no literal English translation.

In it's very essence, it means He who has ears, let him hear.

It means to take pause from the noise, pause and really understand what you have read.

Pause, take a step out of the rush hour traffic of life and maybe, alone on the sidewalk, you can learn to breathe again.

Selah.

stepping up, pushing on...

...Like I said, in sports they call this 'stepping up'. In life, I call it 'pushing back'. 

Nathan Scott, OTH

Broken and empty, victory seems impossible.

You lost the heart so long ago, you don't remember why you are here, save that you are.

Holding a sword, fighting a battle you are afraid of.

Fighting a battle you seem so sure you will not win.

It has always been a battle, nothing has changed except you.

It will always be a battle, putting your sword down won't change that fact.

You will lose if you don't keep your heart.

You will lose if you leave that sword on the ground.

You will lose if you don't step up and push back.

And you will die.

i'm still searching but...

Retrace by Anberlin

And no where else has ever felt like home. 
And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone. 
I replay your voice, it's like you're here. 
You move the earth, but now the sky is falling. 

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night. 
In my mind, I'm back by your side. 
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away. 
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

we're singing...

Rain Down by Delirious

unpredictability...

Life is unpredictable. Deal with it.
When you least expect it, it turns and spits in your face. 
When you are defending against its jabs and right hooks, it throws you an upper hook and floors you.
Yes, life can be a mean little doggie whose favourite toy you just stole.

To many, the unpredictability of life always results in bad situations and circumstances.

I believe this unpredictability to be a gift; it does not result in swirlies all the time.

The very person I am, I am, because of the unpredictability.
I had a short stint doing a cool job because of it.
I ended up in Life, and subsequently, Segi, because of this unpredictability.
I met some of the closest friends I have in my life because of this.
I found my passion, to shape the world with words, through the strangest of circumstances.
I am now in Mass Comm, not in Engineering, because of it as well.
And because of the twists and turns and conundrums of this game,
I met the most awesome girl, ever. Ever.

The unpredictability of life is a gift.
Yes, you can deal with it with resentment.
Or you can embrace it.

a quiet chapter...

I remember saying once, that I am contented and happy with what life was at the moment.

And then someone dear to me said something along these lines, "That's when I am most afraid."

We are what we are, human, and contentment and happiness are what we definitely strive for.

But the more I think about it, contentment and happiness will/can hinder you from achieving what you can, the heights that you can soar.

Because when you are content, why would you want to soar? When you are happy to be where you are, the impetus to be somewhere else is lessened. And in some of us, it disappears entirely.

So don't be happy, and don't be content?

No, that is definitely not what I am saying.

I am saying to be both of that, but don't forget that there is more out there.

There is always more to have - have, does not necessarily mean monetary gains.

For some of us, there is someone waiting for you out there, for some of us your dream is yours, if only you would have the courage to grab the bulls by his cohones.

So don't stay in a state of contentment, live and do a little, maybe even a little dangerously.

Live.