You Won't Hear It Till You Hear It

It is 1 AM and I've been awake for almost 20 hours. My body is so tired, but my mind refuses to go to sleep. I just came back from a concert by Switchfoot, and I gotta say, they are probably the best act I've seen live. The lights on my ceiling are turned off, but those in my mind aren't.

I was just reminded of the strange way - strange to you and I, but not to those who believe - God works. Lately, I've been reading what many people will derisively call self-help books. I don't think any book will fall under that category - books are books. Regardless, why sneer at a fine piece of written work if it actually changes lives? But, I digress.

I recently finished - not two weeks ago - a book given to me by a friend back in '08. I left it to gather dust on the shelf for three years, and when I finally read it this year, it changed my life. I know now that I would not have understood it 3 years ago. It was God, telling me exactly what I needed to hear at the exact moment when I needed it the most. Exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it.

You may think of it as a mere coincidence, but here's another one, also about a book, borrowed to me by someone dear to my heart. I didn't touch it for half a year, but when I finally started reading it, it was as if a light switch was flipped and I saw so much with clarity. It answered so many questions and raised even more. Exactly what I needed to hear, exactly when I needed it.

I am reminded of the many times that I complain about His absence in my life and the times when I don't hear Him, but I've got it all wrong; I never listened in the first place. I placed Him in a box and told Him to talk to me in this particular way, at this particular time. I placed limitations on the infinite. No wonder I never heard squat.

A friend passed me a video titled Nooma 001: Rain by Rob Bell (embedded at the end of the post) at the beginning of this year. I never got around to watching it. At this particular moment in my life, I am still reeling from a recent hurt, and if I am perfectly honest, the loss affected me in a very significant way though I pretend that it didn't, that I am perfectly whole and fine. There comes a time when that dam will reach a breaking point. All the lies you tell yourself, all the walls you put up to keep the hurt out - when in fact you keep it in - will crumble. And I was left with the realisation that this was the bottom already. I can go no further, and I can't crawl up the well by myself.

All of this, the crumbling walls, manning up to my lies and half-truths, all of it happened as I watched the video. All that I had left was my tears, and my God. There was nothing else. And I think that's when I really began to heal.

It was exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed it the most.

May you, when you're soaking wet, lost, hurting and confused, may you cry out, and may the Creator of the universe take you out of your pack, and may He hold you tight up against His chest. May He wrap His eternal, loving arms around you and may you hear Him whisper 'I love you, buddy. We're gonna make it. Dad knows the way home. We're gonna make it. I love you.'