A Need and A Want

My lecturer (an Ad man and an awesome person) once told me this:

A want is more powerful than a need. A need is mundane, boring, but a want is powerful. A want is emotionally appealing, a want can be irresistible. Make the audience want something, and you have them eating out of your hands.

Recently, there has been a few Facebook related suicides. I don't mean to be callous about this, or to specifically point it out because suicides happen all the time.What I want to know is...Why?

Last year, I had a strange opportunity to help someone in need. Since then, the word suicide sticks out to me. I don't understand how a person can need another person so badly that he or she can't live without the other.

Because, the fact is,  no one needs another person in this world so much that they can't live (live, in every single meaning of the word) when the other leaves. We've got a screwed up notion of love. It's not supposed to be self-destructive. No, it's never been easy, but it is, in my opinion, always worth it. I can't help but to react with condescension at the fact that people commit suicide (or try to) because of a break-up. I know, judge not lest ye be judged, but I am only human...

A powerful want transforms, in the human mind, into a helpless need. It is not supposed to. We are supposed to want to journey together with the person we love, but not to need her to the extent that you find your identity in her. John Eldrege said that a man goes to a woman to offer her his strength, not get strength from her.
Why it is that the mass media portrays love as helpless and hopeless, a downward spiral into incoherent thinking? To need something will imply that a certain helplessness is involved. To need disempowers. To need means you've got no choice; satisfying the need is the only way out. And that is the difference between a want and a need. To be able to achieve what you want is a noble feeling. To want something empowers you with freewill. You'll fight for it, not because you can't live without it, but because you feel that whatever it is is more than worth fighting for.

Think about it. Would you rather be with someone who wants you? Or with someone who needs you? And likewise, do you want to be wanted? Or needed?

(My sincerest condolences to the families who have lost in such a painful manner. It is not my intention to belittle or to offend, and if I had done either, please accept my apologies.)
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